Sigh.

Friday, June 17, 2011 @ 8:50 PM

I'm having a fucken , fucken terrible moodswing right now . I waited & waited & waited for what ? NOTHING . Endup it seems like my fault . Fine , I admit k ? I replied msg slow because I was falling asleep but I kept myself awake so that I can see you the moment you reach Yishun. But all I got was disappointment & disappointment. I skipped gathering with my clique for you, got said by them & Im still smiling to you but it seems like I'm nothing to you. Nothing at all.. If this is the case, what's the point we got back together? I know I hurt you before, it's my fault... But now I wanna make it up to you, must you even treat me in such a way...? Maybe I'm paranoid, so be it. Im tired.

F.uck

@ 7:37 PM

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

I.AM.FUCKEN.DEPRESSED.AND.I.DON'T.KNOW.WHY.EITHER!

MY LOVE ; ONE&ONLY

Tuesday, June 14, 2011 @ 12:47 PM

See the guy above in the picture together with me ? He's the guy I love , my future husband . I lost him once , I don't wanna lose him twice . I didn't cherish him well enough , but now I'm going to . He made me fall for him , & now he made me can't let go . Fallen too deep , too quick . He's like the blood flowing in my vein, he's the one who made me felt like Im a lil princess, he treasured me well, cherish me like no one else did . ;) He's the guy I wanna be with, for the rest of my life. I love you, hubby ^^

Breaking Apart

Monday, June 13, 2011 @ 12:25 AM

My mind is falling apart. I'm stressed up with everything falling apart. Just like that girl in the picture, I wanna hide myself in the room, just in one corner. I don't care what others think about me, I just wanna be myself. Is it that difficult? Why do people like to break me apart when I'm starting to stand strong again? Why do people like to pull me down when everything is in place again? Why why & more whys . I really don't know anymore. I'm not myself anymore, I hate it. I wanna be myself again, but how to with all those nonsensical people trying to pull me down? Where is that strong girl I used to know, everyone used to know? Where is that confidence that I once had? Where is everything that I owned? Fuck everyone else who's trying to be funny outside. Fucker(s) much. Don't make me find you people out, I swear I'll turn your world upside down after knowing every single thing .

What third party!? He's not okay . I'm the one who ruined everything , why blame it on him ? Blame it on me instead, fuckers. Don't act as if you know everything when you people don't. Shut the fuck up and keep those fucking comments to yourself. If you wanna know what happen, come to me . Why spread nonsensical things around ? You people no brains or you people dumb? Fuckyourlifehard if I find you out. :)

We hugged, we kissed, I hope we'll never end

Sunday, May 8, 2011 @ 2:02 PM

Today will be our first day for not meeting because of mother's day. But fret not, I'll be able to tolerate today.! It's only for a day. But what if I have a job & not have the time to meet you on weekdays anymore.? :(

No matter how far apart we are, as long as our hearts are linked as ONE, I wouldn't mind where you are or how long we didn't meet. You gave me this special feeling that no one else gave me before. You taught me how to be happy in a relationship. You taught me that just being by your side is sufficient enough for me. :) I don't need anything else from you, I just need your love, care & pampering. That's enough. Xoxo, silly baby. :) & for now, I'm waiting for you to wakeup & reply my text. Woaini, baobei. :)

Wait and Waited

Sunday, May 1, 2011 @ 7:24 AM

I waited and waited for your reply .. But I received nothing . I slept for only 3hours and here I am blogging . Right now , I need someone beside me. That person wasn't you . Am I supposed to feel happy or sad ? Should I smile or cry ? If everything was a dream , why made me believe in you ? If everything was just a hope , why made me fall for you ? If only everything was my own written love story , nothing like this would happen . I want you to stand by me .. but .. where are you now ? I fucking hate MYSELF right now . How I wish I can just walk to the roadside now and get hit by a car so I won't have so many troubles . FUCKMYLIFE . I waited and waited , I cried and cried telling myself you'd contact me soon , telling myself nothing had happened to you . But now ...? I don't even know because I didn't receive anything , bb .. If only I didn't let everything turn back normal , I won't be like this right now . I rather let myself get hurt than seeing both of us being like this right here , right now . And I'm lost , don't know what else to do .

If One day I'm gone , what would you do ...?

Ignored

@ 1:07 AM

I ignored your feelings , I ignored my feelings .
I hurt you , I hurt myself .
I made you cry , I cried too .

I guess , this is karma .
Because right now , I'm no longer cared by you .
You no longer reply my text as quickly as you do already .
Am I that irritating ?
I'm crying my heart out , I seriously am ..
Bb , Where are you ?
What are you doing out there ?
Or .. Are you asleep ?

Are you avoiding me ?
Avoiding my texts ?
I didn't call you because I don't wanna be an irritant to you at all ..
Sigh .. reply me asap bah .
I'm waiting ..

Every single time my phone lit up , I'd turn my head over to look at the messages . But I always got my hope dashed because it wasn't your text . I prayed inside my heart , for you to be fine . For you to text me soon . But ........... I guess you won't . You no longer bother . :')

Drifted

@ 12:50 AM

Online diary , a space where I can write out all my feelings . Nobody knows this space and I'm glad . Because I don't want anyone to know how I'm feeling right now .... When you cared too much, I said I'm suffocating in your love/jealousy. Now when you no longer care ... I missed you more than before. What the heck is wrong with me ? I don't know . But where are you right now ? I really miss you , really I do ... But what are you doing right now ? I really don't know ... Are you avoiding me ? :( Sigh , bb .. I'm waiting for you text , but I do not know what to do now ... Tell me how , will you ? Do you still have me inside your heart ? Sigh .. I hate crying because it'd show my friends how weak I am . I used to be that strong girl , but now I'm not . Im crying over a guy . I was never like this . What happened ? I hate myself for falling in love . Because ... I cant control myself . Sigh . It's too late to regret now , you no longer care . Im no longer important ... I'm waiting for you text and I will always be waiting .. xoxo .

Sorry, I cried

Saturday, April 30, 2011 @ 12:37 AM

I wasn't strong enough to hold back my tears, I'm sorry. For everything that happened today. I know it's my fault for having to many close guy friends. :( I don't want you to treat me so cold ... anymore. I really don't want .. Bb, I do love you lots now. What about you? Faded?

Down..

Friday, April 29, 2011 @ 10:31 PM

I'm feeling super down now, I feel like crying. I really do. 我很想你，我好想现在看到你哦。What about you? Do you miss me like how I miss you? 你现在到底在做什么？ I really wanna know. Sigh.

There's a story behind every single thing I do. There's a story to about the thing we talked about today. But ... I don't know how to say. Sigh, you didn't give me a chance to explain....

We seemed too far apart.. I wish I am still that girl you love...